I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
