someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
