I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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