hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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