you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
