your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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