he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
