Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
