Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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