Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
