i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
