Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
