Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
