just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
