all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
