Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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