Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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