He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
