I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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