i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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