I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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