So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Houston, we have a squirter
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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