he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
