Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
