So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
