I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
