Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
