I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
