Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
