After last night, I could never be a politician.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
