I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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