No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
