Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
