Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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