she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
