if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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