i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
