I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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