you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
