thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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