I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
