I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
