You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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