You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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