At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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