I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I wish there were birth control emojis
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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