he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
