Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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