I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
