I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
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I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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