She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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