my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
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mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
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sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
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Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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