At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
