so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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