Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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