I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize