I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
