Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
